Today was a blessed Sunday. Tomorrow is weigh in Monday with my nutritionist, so we will see if I have lost anymore weight. It is definitely a journey. I will admit that today I tasted a small piece of cake. It was a bad choice, but something good came out of it. I did not want it. I felt like it was not for me and it was not. I cant give into my cravings, but this time I did and although it was the bad me, it helped me to realize I don’t need it and I don’t want it.
Sweets were never my problem, I don’t crave them. My problem has always been thinking I have to eat a lot to feel satisfied. I had a big problem when I started this diet. It was not that I felt hungry, It was that I did not feel satisfied. In my mind, I was not eating something that I though was tasty or more than enough. The first week, I went through some type of fat person withdraws. I was laying in the bed, twisting and turning. I was jonesing for a hamburger, fries, etc. Lol. Sometimes, we think feeling full means pants busting open, breathing hard and ready to take a nap. It is not. It is wrong. Remember that old statement, “Your eyes are bigger than your stomach.” It was true for me. Well, I am learning that I don’t have to bust a gut to feel satisfied.
Ok, since I have been talking about my funny falls lately, I will end the week with a recent crazy fat me fall. Once again, I am not laughing at being fat or health problems that come with being fat. I am laughing at me. This happened last year at my past job. I was on my planning time as a teacher. The students were in their electives. I was working at the computer, but I was sleepy. I started nodding off. All of a sudden, I felt myself leaning to the left, my head hit the wall and I fell off the roller chair into the fetal position between my desk and the computer. OMG! I definitely woke up! I could not believe I was on the floor. Moreover, I was stuck because my foot was under the computer desk and I could not get it out because of not being flexible. The worst part was, my classroom door was open and I did not want anyone to see me, especially the students. I had a class of 8th graders coming in next, and if they would have seen me laying on the floor, it would of been all over the school and on YouTube. I laid there for about two minutes and started wiggling my foot. It eventually made the computer table move and got my foot out. Now the problem was getting up. I was able to turn myself over onto my hands and knees. Now I needed something to pull up on because I could not get up on my own. I had to crawl to one of the student’s desk and pull up on it. Soon I pulled up, a student walked in early. I had to play it off. In my mind, I was very relieved to be off the floor.
After school, I texed my daughter who was in college at Baylor. She knows I was not hurt and she is use to me. She told me she was in the library studying and busted out in laughter. The other students in the library were looking at her because she could not stop laughing. One of her friends did not understand why my daughter was laughing at her me, her Mother falling. She had to explain that it was typical for me. I don’t know about typical, but whatever. LOL
This is one of the best reasons for me to work out. It helps me with flexibility because accidents happen and sometimes you need that flexibility to jump, run, or get up off the ground. I always think about being stuck in something serious like a wreck or a building and I cannot get out because of being too fat or not flexible. Plus my father stopped walking so much because he did not follow the doctors orders about getting more exercise. In other words, move it or lose it.
I cannot walk far sometimes or stand too long without feeling a pain in my back and down my legs. I have sciatica but it is because of my weight. However, I make myself walk because I am young and I am not handicap. It is something I need to change. For example at the grocery store, I can walk a long time because I can lean on the basket as I push it. However, one time at HEB there were no more baskets, so I asked the little bagger teen age boy if he could go get me a buggy. He came back with one of those get on and ride buggies. I was offended. I guess the little teeny bopper thought because I was fat I needed that type of machine.(You know I have a pet-peeve with some teen age workers ever since the bumper boat incident. LOL) I quickly told him, please get me the other buggy. Like I said, move it or lose it, and as long as I can move, I will.
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