Lake Michelle

Standard

Trying to drink 8 glasses of water a day is a chore. Who knew? I love water, but I am not that thirsty. With diabetes, you do get thirsty, but when everything is going right, you don’t fill as thirsty. My sugar readings have been good and dieting is helping, so I am not as thirsty. Today, I forced water down my throat. You would of swore it was medicine. I have to do it, so drink, drink, drink! LOL

Speaking of water. I love to take showers. They are refreshing and quick. However, sometimes it is good to soak in the tub. It is good, but not always the best for fat me. The first time, I realize soaking in the tub was a problem, was a few years ago when I gained more weight. I was getting into the tub and noticed, I could not sit down as easily as others. It is like trying to sit on the floor. It is a process. I could not slowly lower myself into the tub. I had to plop down into the tub. Good! No! Water is in the tub. When I plopped down, all the water shot up and out the side of the tub. OMG! It was like the Brazos river running through my restroom. I had to laugh, but I had to clean it up. This is when I notice another problem, GETTING OUT OF THE TUB! Of course, I cannot get up like most people by pulling myself straight up from the sitting position. I tried, but no luck. Instead, I had to turn over onto my hands and knees and then pull using the soap handle. Good! Wrong! Turning over made more water shoot out into the new Michelle River.

Well at least I can get out now. WRONG! I dont know what they use to attach the soap handle thingy, but apparently it is not strong enough to hold my beauty. Yes, it broke when I tried to lift up. Yes, I fell back into the tub, and yes more water went out into my The Michelle River. What a site! LOL.

By the time, I got out of the tub, I was standing in Lake Michelle. Horrible! Now, when I want to soak in the tub, I put than a million towels. I run the water after I get in and let it out before I get out. HORRIBLE!

Keep it fit my Peeps! Showers rule! LOL

Mall Fat

Standard

WHY IS FIT FOODS SO EXPENSIVE? I do not understand why healthy food is so expensive. You are getting less, so the price should be less. The thing about Fit Foods is it is too portioned. Talk about being hungry. The crazy part is people are lined up to get the food and there are people that go weekly. Fit Foods will make you realize that cooking your own food is best. The sad part is busy people need a good healthy quick pick up food. However, Fit Foods is too expensive for regular folk. My daughter has become good at cooking healthy food, and portioning  the food out into containers. Maybe she needs to start a business, whereas she fixes good healthy food for less. The average folk is where most of the obesity is running rapid. The people I saw in Fit Foods were a size 2. LOL If you know where to get reasonable already made healthy food, let me know.

This is a very recent story. I have sciatica that is brought on by my weight, therefore, I cannot walk a long way without my back hurting. If I walk and ignore the pain, I cannot walk at all, so when the pain comes on, I sit down for a few minutes and then I walk again. It does not affect me at the grocery store or on the treadmill because I am holding onto something that helps hold my weight. I try to know how far I must walk and wear the right shoes. Ugly shoes. (Another good reason to lose weight. lol)  I know what to do now, but a few years ago, I would not go places that I had to walk or stand too long. People thought I was being lazy, but it was my back.

Anyway, I needed to get some vitamins that my nutritionist recommended and the only store that had this certain brand was the Vitamin World. It is not any vitamin store. The closest Vitamin World to me is in First Colony Mall. You know my first reaction was, NOT THE MALL! However, I was smart. I called  Vitamin World and asked the guy which way is the best way to come in near the Vitamin Store. If I come in the right way, I will not have to walk much. The guy told me to come in between the two JC Penney’s. Ok! Wrong!

When I got to the mall, I saw the two JC Penney’s. There was no way that I saw to go in between the two JC Penney’s from the outside.  I saw where I could go in next to JC Penney and probably walk down a little bit. WRONG! It looks different from the outside. Duh!  My silly tail went in through the food court. Bad idea for the fat and hungry.  When you are trying to eat healthy, the food court is the wrong entrance to go trough. Why was there people standing with samples of food? GOOD SMELLING FOOD! I passed three guys with food samples. Good Michelle. No! The fourth guy had tiny pieces of a Philly cheese steak sandwich. I had to taste it. OMG! I think I tasted heaven. After eating healthy, low sodium, low everything food, this salty, fatty, tasty piece of good food melted in my mouth. I wanted to steal the tray, take off running and devour the entire tray. However, I cant run fast enough. LOL I kept walking.

When I got to the end of the food court, I looked to the right and I saw JC Penney. Why was it a whole 90 blocks down the corridor? I parked in the wrong spot. Too late. I was there and I was on a mission. Maybe it would not be so bad. WRONG! It was like crossing Texas. When I arrived at the first JC Penney, I did not see Vitamin World. Of course it was near the other JC Penney. The other JC Penney was not next to the first JC Penney. It was miles away in my mind. MORE WALKING! My back was killing me, but I made it to Vitamin World. I had to sit down first. There was a bench in front of the store. Unfortunately, there were two college looking girls sitting on it. I was in such pain, I decided to go stand by the bench. I am sure when they see me, they will be polite and get up. Wrong! They sat there talking. I really needed them to move, so I started breathing hard and coughing. I said excuse me and tried to sit in the little space next to one of the girls. They looked at me and quickly moved. I know it was wrong, but I was in pain. LOL

I sat for about five minutes. I went into the Vitamin World and found everything I needed. Now it was time to make that long walk across Texas back to my car. Usually, walking back is not so bad because I know where I am going. I thought I knew where I was going. After walking for a while, I did not see the food court. Where is it? Did they move it? Is this a cruel joke on fat people? I saw the end of the mall. I dont remember what store it was, but there was no food court. I turned around and began walking back toward the JC Penney that I did not see. Was I in so much pain that I was delusional? I saw a sign that said Food Court with an arrow. I think I turned wrong. I began walking the direction of the arrow. OMG! No food court! Where am I? I had to sit and think this through. I sat down with a old man. He looked about 80. We began talking about his grand kids, the mall, the weather. It was nice, but I realized time was passing and I did not know where I was. I said goodbye to the old man and continued my journey.

By this time, I figured there was never a food court and I was in a dream. WAKE UP MICHELLE! It was no dream. Finally, I asked one of the workers who was in the middle of the mall selling jewelry or something.  She pointed to a little hallway that led to the restroom, but it also led to the food court. I was so excited. It was like the yellow brick road to OZ. I knew at the end of the road, I could go home. “There’s no place like home.” There’s no place like home.”   I followed the hall and ended up at the end of the food court. I went out the door and got into my car. Sweet relief!

It is a shame. This was another great reason for me to lose weight. Plus, I felt like the 80 year old man. Although, he could walk better than I. I am on a mission to lose the weight and be able to walk the entire mall without sitting down. I will conquer the beast. LOL

Keep it fit peeps.  Keep a map! LOL

 

Dog Gone Fat!

Standard

It is almost MLK Day. I think of the struggle that Martin Luther King Jr. and others went through to insure equal rights. I am grateful to all who put their lives  on the line to ensure freedom for all. However there is much to do in many minority neighborhoods. One thing that is somewhat minor that I have a problem with is DOGS! I love dogs, but I do not like stray dogs. For some reason many Hispanic and Black neighborhoods have stray dogs. It is as if, once people cannot take care of them, they let them go on the street. Horrible!  Some of the dogs are dangerous and for a fat person like me it is not good. I can run a little, but I cannot jump or climb or whatever it takes to get away from the dog. Maybe I need to have a march on not letting your dangerous dogs loose. “Say it Loud. Stop Stray Dogs!”

The funny story today is not about me, but my fat was part of the problem. My daughter plays the piano. She went to a school in elementary that had a focus on music. One of her classes was piano. In fifth grade, she had a difficult piece to learn, so I hired a private tutor to help. In fifth grade, my daughter was short and a bit chubby. She was not fat, but had a little more weight on her butt and thighs. The piano tutor was the aunt of a friend of mine and she lived in a neighborhood not to far from where we lived. The neighborhood was diverse, so I did not worry to much about dogs, but I am always on the lookout.

After piano lessons, my son and I were sitting outside in the van. I drove a mini van back in those days. My daughter came out of the house, and that is when I saw it. A big white dog coming down the sidewalk. It was almost a block away, but it started running when it saw my daughter. We did not have much time. I told my daughter to run. She saw the dog and started running toward the car. My son began yelling run! Here is where my fat comes in to being a problem. Most people would have opened the door and got out to help their child, but I knew it takes me forever to get out of the car and get in, so this would not help. The dog was coming and coming fast.  I decided to roll the window down and have my daughter climb into my window and across me. There was no time for her to run around to the other side of the van. She threw her books in and started climbing in the window. She tried to go across me, but my fat and the steering wheel was in the way. She was stuck. Her feet and butt were dangling out the window. Her brother who was in fourth grade at the time, jumped in the front and tried to pull her through the window, but the dog was almost at the car. The only thing I could do is drive. I started the car and drove with my daughter’s legs dangling out the window. We drove down the street and around about two corners. I could see people pointing at us. I am sure it looked strange. We stopped and my daughter was able to scoot into the window and go over to the passenger seat. It was horrible. We looked at each other and started laughing.

My poor child. However, my kids are use to me and my fat. It is a good thing, but also a pitiful thing. I thank my children for putting up with my silliness and my fat. For them and myself, I am working hard to lose this weight.

Keep it free my Peeps. DOG FREE! LOL

Towing my Butt

Standard

I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend. I know for me it is a three day weekend. “Free at last. Free at last.” The thing about being free, is there is always responsibility and you have to work to keep it. So I say, Free the fat! Free the fat! I must be responsible for my actions and try to keep working toward my goals. Dieting and eating healthy is definitely a life changing process. It is not easy. However, I will overcome one day! You notice my Martin Luther King theme. LOL

My daughter who is away in college, says some of the students say “The Struggle!” Afterwards, they will answer “It’s Real!” I told her those kids at that expensive college, do not know what  it is to have a real struggle. Be a Mom! Be fat! Be divorced! Be a grown up!  It is slang for them, but many of us know what struggle means and it is definitely REAL! However, we keep on keeping on!

Are you ready for one of my real fat experiences. One night my son and I were driving back from visiting some friends in Katy, which is about 40 minutes from where we live with no traffic. It is all freeway, so not so bad. Wrong!  Halfway down the freeway, the car started making a sound and jerking. I told my son to pull over. The car stopped and would not turn back on. It was 10:00 at night and we were on the freeway. OMG! Why? Luckily, we had our cell phones. What did we ever do without cell phones? LOL  Unfortunately, for me I do not have many people to call to help because at that time my parents were too old, it was late and I did not know anyone to call, so we called the city tow truck program. They will come get anyone stranded on the roads or freeways for free. They will not take you home, but they will tow the car to a open area like a parking lot or gas station. Whatever is close. Great!

The tow truck arrived in about 10 minutes. We got out the car and the man hooked the car onto the tow truck. Here comes the bad part. The tow truck driver got into his truck. My son got in the back seat and now it was my turn. Easy? No! I am not only fat, but I am short. For me the tow truck is like a giant. For people who are smaller in weight, they can pull themselves up, but I cannot pull my own weight up. I can roll it, I can fall on it, but I cannot pull it up. I tried, but I could not get into the truck. The tow driver did not help. He was looking at me like I had a problem. I did! Help me! He did not have anything I could hold onto. Finally, after getting out of breath trying to climb that mountainous truck, my son jumped out and said let me help you. Such a good son. He tried to have me push off on his hand. He tired to pull me. He tried everything. Finally, I told my son to get behind me and push my butt up. Of course, he looked at me and said What? “I said, take your hand and push up on my but as I try to lift. I know he wanted to laugh because I was laughing. The tow truck driver was doing noting, but looking.  On the count of three, I lifted and my son pushed my butt and up I fell into the truck face down into the seat. I was able to pull up and sit down. The tow truck driver looked and said, “I will drop you at the Walmart.” Thank you Mr. No help man! LOL Later, I thought about my face in that seat that millions of butts have sat in. You know when I arrived home, I scrubbed with all kinds of soap, alcohol, moisturizer, etc. LOL

We made it to the Walmart and my son helped me down because jumping from high places is not something fat people want to do. I got down and the tow truck driver had us sign his work order and he left. We were in a jam because I had nobody to call. We sat in the car for about an hour and I told my son to try to start the car one more time. I prayed and prayed and PRAYED! The car started. Woo Hoo!  We went home and I told my daughter how her brother had to push my butt up. We all laughed.

Keep it fit my peeps and keep your car running! Oh and keep a strong son. LOL

The Slip

Standard

My computer seems to have an attitude, but it is working. I am back to blogging. Starting from the fat. Well, I have not lost any weight, but I have lost inches, so all good. It is a process. This fat did not come over night, so I will not lose it overnight. However, that would be a nice idea. Imagine waking up and all the fat is gone…….Oh sorry, back to reality.

The New year is always a great time to start working out. So many people are working out and dieting. I say great! However be careful. Make sure if you are on medication or have some type of medical problem, check with your doctor. Everything does not go with everybody, and everybody does not go with everything. Be body smart, so you can be body beautiful.

OK! Are you ready for a Michelle Fat funny. Let me do my disclaimer. Being fat is a serious matter. It is not funny. We must all take care of our health and help others when we can. However, I love to laugh at myself and see the funny, but also see what I need to work on.

As you know I am a teacher. Well I am more of a Mother. My kids are 21 and 22, but that is like 11 and 12 sometimes. LOL  Last school year, my son’s car was broke, so he used my car. I told him to make sure he picked me up at 4:00. Of course, you know in the twenty something language that means 5, 6 or whatever. LOL Since he was late, I had time to talk with some fellow colleagues that are usually at the school late. Some teachers are so dedicated. Yeah right! There were some chairs close to the front of the building, and I thought it would be a good spot to wait for my Son because I could see out the door. WRONG! As you know from my story about the chair collapsing at my son’s cub scout meeting, I now check every chair I sit in. I check to see if it will hold me and if I can get out of it. If a chair or couch is too low, I do not sit in it. It is not easy pulling all of this weight out of a low chair.

Since this chair was a bit low, I decided to sit more to the front of the chair. I began to slip some, so I sat back a little more into the chair. I was not sure if I was slipping, if the chair was moving or if the room was moving. All I know is before I knew it, I slowly slipped down onto the floor and the chair was laying partly on my head and partly on my back. I was stuck with my feet sticking straight out and this chair on my back. I was not hurt. I was amazed, I was on the floor. The slip was so slow and easy that I did not realize I was on the floor…well, until I saw my legs sticking out in front of me. LOL

There were two other teachers near me, but they were skinny. I know you probably are thinking, “So what if they are skinny?” Well, sometimes skinny people do not understand that bigger people do not move like they do. They kept telling me how to get up instead of helping me get up. Finally, another teacher came by and took the chair off my back. Now, I was sitting on the floor with no way up. Of course the skinny ones could not help me. Finally two men came by and they helped me up. I dont know why they had to make a grunting noise like I was soooo heavy. Maybe they need to work out more. LOL

Later, I found out the chair slipped because  the floor had been waxed and buffed too much. So now, I not only check what chair I sit in, I also check the floor, the wax, the skinny people…..LOL

Keep it fit my peeps!

Computer Down

Standard

I am out for a bit. My computer is broke. I am using my cheapo
tablet for the cheap and the broke. It only cost $39.99. I can’t type like I would on my laptop. So I am a broke broken joke. I hope to be back by Friday. Stay fit my peeps!

Make sure you check out KTX Fitness videos below. After the first one runs, check out the rest. Now that is a work out. I am tired looking at it. LOL

 

 

Don’t Park Here!

Standard

I am back! The problem I had with taking too many of my vitamins and diet pills at the same time wiped me out. I had to gain my energy back from all of that …releasing. LOL  Plus, I am catching a cold. However, I am fighting it. I did not lose weight at my last weighing on Friday, but I did lose inches. So all Good my peeps. It is so amazing how many diets and work out plans are coming out, especially in the month of January. Everyone has that new resolution. If it is healthy, I say go for it. In fact, if you have a good diet or workout plan, let me know and I will advertise.

My stories of my funny fat experiences are becoming popular, so here I go again. First, remember I am not making fun of being fat. It is a serious problem and we all should make sure to help ourselves and others. If you are like me, who grew up in the South with old school Black folk, you don’t know much about healthy cooking. Plus the generation I grew up in was the beginning of  the fast food frenzy. I am 43 and it is hard to teach an old dog new tricks. You know I hate that saying. It is hard to teach a beautiful diva new tricks. Better! lol

Whenever, I park my car, I have to make sure to watch my spacing. I have to make sure there is enough space on the driver’s side, so I can get out. It is a process for me getting out the car. I dont jump out like some of you. First, I open the door as wide as I can. I have to make sure the door is going to stay open so it want come back and crush my leg or something. Next, I make sure my purse is on my left side and already hanging out the door. If not, I can get stuck with the purse and the door. (Another story for another day.) Next, I hold on to the steering wheel and turn my entire body to the left so both of my feet are hanging out the door. I look down, so not to step in something that crazy people put on the ground like food and other gross things. Next I scoot to where my feet hit the ground. I drive an old 2001 Blazer and I am short. LOL I hang onto the door and I pull my self out. I know. It is a crazy shame.

On this day, I did the same thing. I made sure I had enough space to get out. I do not pay much attention to the passenger side, except I do not want to be too close and that person cannot get in their car. I was at Kroger’s grocery store. I went in and got what I needed. I was not in there long. I was picking up one thing. When I went back to the car, my dilemma began. Another car had pulled in to the spot on my driver’s side and it was too close. OMG! I could not get in. I tried, but I could barely open the door. I could get the top part of my body in, but not all of it. I probably looked like a big bear stuck in a hole. I thought, maybe I could go on the passenger side and cross over to the driver’s side. WRONG!

I could get into the passenger side, so all good. NO!  I got in and closed the door so nobody would see this adventure. My car has a little piece in the middle where you can open up a compartment to put thing in. It is not that high, but for my no flexible fat self, it was like a mountain. I had to think what I was going to do. If you know me, thinking what I am going to do and doing it can be two different events. I was able to get my left foot over the hump and on to the drivers seat. Now all I needed to do is lift up and fall comfortably into the drivers seat. easy, right? HA! I struggled to pull all my weight up and when I did I fell right onto that middle compartment. All I heard was crack! crack! Yes, I broke the middle compartment. I should have tried to go back, but noooo, I am on a mission. In my mind, I though if I leaned with all my weight left, I would fall into the seat and all I would need to do is pull my right leg over. Nope! I fell into the seat sideways. My head was against the window and my left leg was near the gas pedal, my other leg was laying on the middle compartment. Here is where being flexible is important. Most people would of pulled up and bent their right leg and fixed their body into the seat. Well, my right leg would not bend. In fact every time I tried to bend it, I got a charlie horse. OMG! I was stuck. I could not pull myself up because I could not bend that right leg. I laid there. I could here people walking by, but I was not going to call for help because I was embarrassed. Plus, I don’t know those people. I locked the door. (Paranoid much!)  So, I lay there thinking what can I do.

I decided to open the drivers door because maybe I could pull myself more to the left and…..I dont know. I had no plan. I was pulling at straws to see what would work. I opened the door and pulled a little to the left. I was able to push myself up. Did I end up in the seat? No! I ended right back on the middle compartment. Yes, it made that cracking sound again. Really? While I was sitting on that big hump, the person who car was in front of mine passed by, the saw me sitting on that hump like a over sized kid. I remember, the man stopped and looked at me strangely. I think he mumbled, “What the Hell?” He quickly got in his car. I don’t blame him. LOL

I was able to get back in the passenger seat and get out of the car. I was so glad to get out of my own car. I was out, but I could not get into the driver side. A young boy who was picking up the baskets in the parking lot walked by, so I asked him if he could pull my car out, so I could get in the driver’s side. He did not mind. He squeezed his skinny self into the door of the driver’s side and backed the car up for me. I gave him a tip and got into my car.

Unfortunately, my middle compartment has a big dent in it. I can open it, but it is dented. I have not had this problem again, but if I do, I will ask for help or LOSE WEIGHT!!!!!

Keep it healthy peeps!